:(

I am sad today and I couldn’t tell you exactly why. Maybe that things just keep happening?! Not really im not too worried about those things. That Ali put me in a sad mood after hanging out with her yesterday or things she did or said got to me? Maybe. The fact that I haven’t taken my pills in about a week isn’t helpful. Im exhausted and from what im not sure either.


The only thing I am certain of is that I am sad. I don’t want to be..i don’t have a real reason to be right now I just am. I want to scream and cry and run away and I don’t know. I feel lost. Im not sure lost is even the right way to put it?! Ugh! I have no idea what I am and this is the post pointless post ever.

Ayden and Mikala had a good first day at school, we did homework and got them caught up. That might be a reason im sad?! My Little boy has grown up! I miss just holding him and loving him and him letting me sometimes he still lets me but he’s a boy and he doesn’t want mom anymore. I feel useless. Sigh im going to go before I make myself more sad.



-Manda