Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Tuesday

My insecurities get the best of me sometimes, then again if yours don't id say you are doing something wrong. I have one ex to deal with and well...as odd as that whole situation is its just one. I knew i would have to deal with ex's and i have handled this all pretty well im just insecure about being around the most recent. I feel like I'm somewhere i shouldn't be like she was there first lived in the same house had her kid there just like i have mine.. i don't know its stupid and i know it is and im not dwelling on it but im just putting it out there.

Ive never thought i was anything more than just pretty probably due to the fact that people are always say oh you are so pretty. Thanks. when you say it in that tone it makes me want to smack you and cry. its almost like an insult when people say it as an after thought. Beautiful until the last two months i could count on one hand how many times id been called that. Now i couldn't tell you how many times Michael has told me that. Maybe im starting to believe it? i think i am...It helps the above insecurities. Or rather all of them.

I need my confidence today i have a final interview..with the director of the department Ive been interviewing for and then a meeting with HR and I'm nervous and i need to not be and i probably will be right up until i go in and sit down and start talking because at that point i block it all out. Anyways my point being wish me luck! Also is there anyone out there who even reads this? and if so any questions for me?

-Amanda

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