Monday, November 14, 2011

In the End.

I have recently encountered a blog that changed my perspective on the things i can share.. The things id really like to share and the things people will probably condemn me for sharing.

I wish i could go back in time and break down the days what they felt like for you after my life literally imploded and i couldn't breath, eat, sleep, think.

I feel stronger now i feel like a person i never knew i had in me took over. But in those days weeks months after i was a shell and some days i still am.

Life is a bitch and to find out after 9 years with someone they are not at all who you thought they were who you loved who you imagined spending the rest of your life with it sucks. Its hard and i was bitter and angry and a bitch. I cried for a life i had lost and stood stale mate facing what to do next where to go next how to breath again.

I know its not easy and the websites out there the people you can talk to about this "sensitive" topic generally turn to hate they use that to move forward to cut their children off from their other parent to hurt them as deeply as they have been hurt. And its not right. Its not right for you its not right for your child and its not right for the person at the other end finally being honest with you i cant imagine going through the things these individuals do just to be themselves if they had a choice i know they wouldn't choose this life.

Why make things that much harder on you and them and really the children you may have in the mix life is difficult enough you are the adult suck it up butter cup pick yourself up and realize the only thing you are doing is destroying you and your self worth and your child's future.

Leave god out of it.

-Manda

You are welcome for the rant..i think i might start blogging more.

2 comments:

Beckstrom7 said...

Very well said. I am glad you will start to blog more. I miss you and I love to hear how you are doing through your blog and on Facebook. Give that cute kid of yours a hug for me.

Amanda said...

A big giant hug! Everytime i go up to walmart i have this urg to drive up to your house..:( ayden still asks about you he wants to go to the park and play. we totally miss you too!