I never wanted to be THAT girl...

I never pictured myself here, where i am at right now. NEVER i never wanted to be her the girl who had a baby with her high school sweet heart her only REAL boyfriend, got married and bought a house. I had goals dreams and ambitions like everyone else but being a responsible person seemed to be what took over. I am proud of myself even if no one else is, I'm proud of the women and mother i am, i was stupid and i continue to make stupid decision buts whats done is done and i cant undo it and i never would. i wish i could have been more for my son i never wanted to be this girl but i am and I'm doing the best with it i know how. i wish i had more in me had taken a different path to him so i could have given him more as a mother. a mothers regret i suppose

Frightfully boring

Yes i posted twice within minutes shut up no one reads you anyways! i have decided i am about the worst writer in the world yet i insist on continuing my futile attempts. big words i know but i like them. anyways i write because my brain will NEVER shut up if don't i get these weird ideas and i write. i write about stupid stuff, and i enjoy it only i tend to get bored about oh 15 pages in and that's where it usually ends. humph... i give up i have nothing of substance to say and i am rambling for the pure joy of seeing my own words typed bah!

Body of lies....

Really is there any truth to anything anyone says? does that make sense? probably not. sometimes i evny those around me until i find out the sad truth that is their lives. that sad truth that they are no more happy then me no more sucessful no more regretful. Envy is a hateful and painful thing. sigh.

Slightly annoyed....

I am slightly annoyed with people, i might just be having a bad day. scratch that bad last two months. GR! I'm tired of going to work wondering if today will be my last day... I'm tired of waiting behind stupid people with annoying children while they try to decide what to eat. get them something you know what they like unless you really are that out of touch with your children. I have a child to i don't let mine run around like a monkey on acid in public places! please really people grow some balls and tell your child NO for gods sake! I'm done. For now.

Atleast i still have my job....?

I know everyone is in a tight spot this year, and i assume its not going away anytime soon. i hate to be one of those people who complains but I'm going to be because this is my own personal spot to bitch. I lost hours this week, which means we get to come up 400 short every month. I would love to find a part time job but who is even hiring these days. i know my state hasn't even been hit by the worst of it yet but I'm terribly scared and horrified of what will happen when it does and when it gets worse if i will even have a job or if my husband even will. I'm only 22 we own two cars and a house filled with crap will i loose all that i have been working since i was 15 to get to this point? i don't want to loose everything but if it comes down to it i guess i will along with most other people. My only question is will we get out of this? I love Obama i voted for him i spent months and months on message boards defending the man and i know he cant make everything happen at once but i pray he gives us some hope once in office. I'm ready for change this is going to be a long road and its a big hole we all have to dig out of thank you president bush i would love nothing more then to give you a swift kick in the ass for all the heartack you have caused my family and millions of others. OK I'm done.

Do you ever get tired of being you?

I keep having this distinct feeling that, I'm not just tired of the same old. but I'm tired of being me... tired of living a non existent existence. if that even makes sense. So tired, i love my family my husband and son i just am not sure if i love myself. maybe i never have, what ever the reason is for that I'm not sure. maybe ill never figure it out because honestly i don't have the time to figure it out. or the patience mostly i don't have the time.

Why do we Blog?

I mean really why do we blog? Actually the better question is why do i blog? No one ever reads what i have to say. Maybe its the way i say it or maybe its the things i say. Who knows, I guess really it just comes down to me being able to say what i want when i want. I post alot of things on other web sites but i feel this space here is just for me. I just dont give myself alot of me time, which is apparent in my lack of posts on here. Thats what being a mommy is really about giving up youself for someone else. Marriage goes along with that, only you give up the things you want for the things they want instead. Im tired and rambling so im going to bed.