Thursday, February 16, 2012

Saving Sasha

I never ever ever do things like this if you read my blog you know that.

With that being said im doing this.

My uncles dog was diagnosed with cancer and they are able to get her treatment but cancer treatment in general is expensive Please check out her facebook page Here And or donate at Here Even if you dont please tag it in a tweet post it to your facebook please just pass along the word!

Thank You

-Manda

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Boy

They tell you that you are not a parent until you think you’re a bad one and that it’s ok to think that because if you don’t you might actually be a bad one.

It sounds stupid, Its true.

Little boy you are my favorite person in the whole wide world. Even when I’m crying and begging you to take your medicine because holding you down just feels wrong and crossing a line id rather cry and let you know that i care than to show no emotion at all.

I feel like everyday every decision i make might be the wrong one and I’m scared every day that one day you will hate me. That you may never want to be around me again. But i love you. I want you to always know i love you and I’m sure ill eventually screw you up or i already have and im sorry for that. I wish i could be perfect you deserve perfect and I’m just not.

But i love you Please always remember i love you.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

It will get better

"hang in there it will get better"

Weve all heard it read it hoped it. But does it? I mean really does it ever just get better and we live contentley or are we moving from one major disater to the next. A few wrong desicions away from losing it all?

I want there to be a happy ending to be in love again to have someone to rely on who loves me back. But im bogged down by the sheer terror that it would never last anyways so it not worth my time. That nagging hateful voice in the back of your head that wants you to be miserable forever.

Do you ever get that sinking feeling?

-Manda