I have recently encountered a blog that changed my perspective on the things i can share.. The things id really like to share and the things people will probably condemn me for sharing.
I wish i could go back in time and break down the days what they felt like for you after my life literally imploded and i couldn't breath, eat, sleep, think.
I feel stronger now i feel like a person i never knew i had in me took over. But in those days weeks months after i was a shell and some days i still am.
Life is a bitch and to find out after 9 years with someone they are not at all who you thought they were who you loved who you imagined spending the rest of your life with it sucks. Its hard and i was bitter and angry and a bitch. I cried for a life i had lost and stood stale mate facing what to do next where to go next how to breath again.
I know its not easy and the websites out there the people you can talk to about this "sensitive" topic generally turn to hate they use that to move forward to cut their children off from their other parent to hurt them as deeply as they have been hurt. And its not right. Its not right for you its not right for your child and its not right for the person at the other end finally being honest with you i cant imagine going through the things these individuals do just to be themselves if they had a choice i know they wouldn't choose this life.
Why make things that much harder on you and them and really the children you may have in the mix life is difficult enough you are the adult suck it up butter cup pick yourself up and realize the only thing you are doing is destroying you and your self worth and your child's future.
Leave god out of it.
You are welcome for the rant..i think i might start blogging more.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Saturday, November 12, 2011
I am usually very involved politically its just something i do. Im not this go around probably because we have a year left until the next election. I know who i am voting for i wont vote republican not just because i find pretty much everything wrong with their views but because the candidates they are putting out are nothing short of bat shit crazy. Its almost like they don't want to win. I understand the plight of occupy wall street i have been there i am there i am the 99% and im watching my sons future vanish every hope and dream i have for him fly out the door because of greed and selfishness. Id be out there myself but i still need to feed my son. I didn't start school back up i still don't know what i want to be when i grow up and it almost feels futile at this point. I have no real direction as of late. I'm happy. But im sad i feel like im drowning in a world i no longer recognize a world im not sure i have a desire to be a part of anymore and that's not saying id ever do anything to myself not in that sense am not at all saying i want to die its just not a good time in our history. I wish beyond wishing i could make a difference i want to change things i want to help but im one person with no voice. /Manda